A POST TO MAKE GOLFERS MAD
There aren't many things in life that I'm certain about.
But one of those things is my unshakable belief that even though I've never played, I would be really good at golf.
Like… immediately good.
At least relatively. You know, for a beginner. When I say "good," I mean you'd be able to play a game with me without getting annoyed – I would be able to keep up. I might not win, but it wouldn't be a blowout.
First of all, I know how to properly swing a bat.
And I'm sorry, I really don't think that I'd need to make significant changes to be able to swing on a different plane.
I can already hear you chuckling, so I will concede that the mechanics of the two swings might be a little different. But you have to admit that to those with an untrained eye, like myself, they are at least a little similar. In both swings, it's all in the hips. My hand-eye coordination is already there. And because I understand at a cellular level the mechanical chain reaction that occurs in a baseball swing when you switch your grip or change how you bend your elbow, I don't think I would have much difficulty converting that information to a golf swing. Some of the same physics would have to apply.
My friends, the ball isn't even moving.
As an avid mini-golfer, my short game would already be pretty tight.
When I was growing up, the place where my batting cages were also had a mini-golf course. So I'm sitting on a couple of decades spent perfecting my alignment and making chip shots over decorative boulders. I'm basically a pro. If I can navigate around obstacles like tiny bridges, plastic trees, and functioning windmills, then I'm pretty sure I could handle a sloping green, no problem.
Keeping Score?
Got it.
Driving the cart?
Easy.
The Fashion?
I could pull it off.
Every time I mention this theory on social media, all the actual golfers are very eager to jump in and explain to me why I'm wrong.
And I get it.
And they're almost certainly right.
But I don't care.
I still think I'd be good.
Prove me wrong.